I am going through a different kind of feeling these days. I am out of my last relationship a long time back. Remember, I have written about a boy who is non Punjabi but after all my friend’s comments and a lot of thinking I accepted his offer of marriage. I even talked about him at my home. My brothers met him, my mother met him but he bastard, he simply said with a lot of tears in his eyes. That he can not betray his parents, he can not see them crying. Although it was very painful for me but I realized my worth and I left him. No no, not with simply tears in my eyes huh, I slapped that bastard in MacD, in front of other guys. Yes, J

It was lovely. I felt very nice after slapping him, after scolding him and finally after leaving from there. He tried to contact me after that, through chat , through mail, through phone, every time what he heard from my mouth was scolding, abuses and a lot of curses for him. Then eventually, I even stopped picking his phones and blocked him from my chat. Ufff, he was such a crying personality. Only rona dhona type, uff, not doing anything, simply blaming his luck.

After getting free from there, I realized importance of my life for myself only. I began concentrating on my hobbies, my friends, my books, my career, my family (with them I used to fight only because of that bastard).

Now after that m totally into enjoying my life. But sometimes I think, I should give myself more freedom, more independence, I do not want anybody’s interference in my life. I want to wear whatever I want, I want to have friendship with whomever I want, I want to do whatever I want. (obviously I am a mature girl, I know which things are good and bad for me.) although , I have decided to get married, as somehow I find myself relationship addict. But , I think now I should give myself some time. Some space , some life only for me. ITS MY LIFE.  Although I and my family are still looking for good groom, but now, my attitude is totally changed. I would like to have a husband, who can understand me and respect me. Now, whenever I have to go to meet any family or boy, I do not go with attitude that they are coming to see me, but it is me, who is going to see them. And on certain things, I am very much clear and put my foot down,( Thanks to meow FM, and Anil the RJ) I know there are certain things I need and will not change for them,. Like, I will not leave my job,  I will not compromise  on certain things etc.

Now its only my life, my life and me.

Hello friends!!!!

Finally, thanks to all my friends, I have got a job in my last company itself, which I just love. But again, there is confusion now. Some of the employees, who have left the company, now tell me that its financial position is not sound enough. When they were there thy used to praise it a lot, now, when they have left, they are saying this and that. I was very happy, when I got this opportunity I was so happy at the idea of coming back to my favorite company. Now I have got these following points, where I need help, please advise me:-

Some ex employees are saying, financial position is not so much sound. , although it’s a MNC, I hope, MNC do not close as quick.

I will be replacing my existing HR manager, under whom I used to work when I was there, so I will be having his part of pressure also. Although in my present company, I handle same kind of things, but still an unknown fear.

As you know, I have resigned from my last company, and then they again called me back , as I didn’t have any job at that time in hand, I told my MD my conditions, although

 Not as precisely about his misdeeds towards me, as I should have. 11 March was going to be my last working day, but m still here. Now suddenly, I have got this opportunity and those people are really in a hurry. So I have decided to pick my salary on 8^th and then go, resigning through mail and citing some personal reasons. But if I do so , my wud be sister in law is also working here, so they will ask her and may come to attend her wedding also in July , I don’t know, how will I face them.

It’s true that if I hear my hearts voice, it says to join my last company itself. As m getting the same AM level as m having right now, although the package is almost the same, but designation is upper than I was holding last time, with a cool environment, and sat – Sunday off and others offs also giving me time to study as well as helping my mother at home.

M living in so much insecurity here, my MD is happy, my job is secure , if he does not like anything, he will start behaving in that strange manner again, beside, my sister in law is also here so , in July when she will be married, we will have to come and go together, live together both at home and at office ,”to meri privacy to gayi pani main”

Keeping all these things in my mind, if I make up my mind to go from here, then comes the tension of how to resign from here, and what to say,

PLEASE HELP ME ASAP, as I am going to join there at 8^th.

Hi, I got the job in Genpact”

Were the words of my colleague, who has just got the job? I was very much tense, actually double tense now as it was me who was in big trouble and I wanted to leave the job , who was in the great mess , who actually wanted to get out of this bloody thing, but see who got the job , the girl who just three days before has decided to go out of the job , and who actually did in just 3 days of thinking of changing the job. It hurt me now so much,

Common yar I was hoping to hear a good news soon, I was trusting my GOD so much, I was in a desperation to get out of this bloody mess and my GOD left me behind    helping my colleague.

Now she will be out of this company while I will be jobless in just one week maybe.

Why GOD why did u do this with me.

I was crying in the toilet (the safest place for me to cry my feelings out) when suddenly it seemed to me that i have got an answer from GOD,

“ that girl does not have father, no elder brothers , no financial support from any body other, if won’t take care of her , who will”””   you have your whole family to support you emotionally as well as financially , please wait for some more time”

Me: but god, it’s me who is in this mess:

GOD: don’t worry I will take care of you

Me: God , I was very happy in my last company why did you let me change to this company, where from the very beginning  I am going through problems only, personally as well as professionally.

GOD: as you are my special child, I want you to go through all kinds of experiences in life, good as well as bad, so that you can understand and experience life fully, I give you pain so that you can understand and enjoy your gains, if you will not walk on thrones, you can not understand and realize the importance and softness of flowers. To live in this life you need to go through many kind of experiences, good and bad..

Seriously, we are always in some or other kind of problem. Sometimes, in search of good partner, in search of good job, in search of good home, in search of good friends, or simply sometimes because we have now everything, so in search of new challenges, in search of happiness by this  way or another. I myself have experienced all this. Today, morning as I was very tense, my mother told me that right now you are so much desperate to find a new job, think about a person, situation, when you will have to leave your present house with no other place to go while you are having little kid also with you.

This is the problem she has faced. I also thought job ka kya hai, I may get a job later also, at least I have my home where I can sit and relax if I am not having a job, at least I have my family for my support, I have my mba to keep me busy with the education, I have someone special to support me emotionally, I have my bank balance to support me financially, I have many things to take care of me.

There is always one thing, when we are desperate for anything, we never get a solution outright, and we always have to wait. Why does this happen???? But when we have to wait for something, this wait is always too much. We can not tolerate this.

O GOD PLEASE GIVE ME STRENGH TO HAVE PATIENCE.

RESPECT THE BEHAVIOURS. NOT ANYTHING ELSE

Yesterday, I heard a show on sexual harassment on FM and I learned a new but very useful line over there.

There was a child who actually asked from the consultant, should we respect our elders??

He said very amazingly, NO. kid said, thank you. You know what was the importance of this line for that kid. Actually she was undergoing sexual harassment form one of her elder relative. She knew something was wrong, but she also was taught from the very beginning like all of us that RESPECT YOUR ELDERS. That’s why she never actually opened her mouth against all this. 

Whomsoever she would ask, SHOULD WE RESPECT OUR ELDERS??       They would say, yes, and she remained mum for God knows how much time??

When she consulted with this gentleman and he said NO, YOU SHOULD RESPECT THE BEHAVIOUR, NOT THE ELDERS. This thing brought a new ray of hope in her life. She objected to all this and I hope, she would be out of this situation now although those dirty feelings and memories will continue for some more years.

It, s very true, sometimes we say something right and good but then we get the reply, shut up, do not talk like this to me or don’t dare to advice me , I am your elder. Why should we respect our elder, and they are behaving like this or just making hot their own iron. I will respect one person younger than me, who is actually having good principles of life and who is having a good behavior, rather than a person who is elder than me but who is actually behaving like this. To some extent, I have also gone through this thing in my childhood, although Thank God, that bastard didn’t get so much chance to have his way. Thanks to my mumma , who never left me alone and in fact has warned me against all these rubbish , when I was only 6 years,( don’t remember actually 5,6,&7)

These kind of memories haunt you, even after so many years I have heard that these things have an impact in your adult days, I never thought it will have an impact on me, but later on I realized that it is actually. I was in a series of relationships; I could not live without a guy with me. I dreaded aloneness. Even though, there were guys who were not at all good but I stayed with  those bastards in those relationships, because I did not want to be alone at all. And the funny thing was that I wanted them to be serious for me, but I never actually wanted me to get serious for them, and I never had been. Thank God, now I have overcome this, and now I am in a serious relationship with an amazing guy. ;)

I want to tell you one more thing, although this thing does not actually have any contact with all this, but let me narrate this. When I was in my college then Maluana Azad Medical Rape case has happened, in which a girl was raped on Khooni Darwaza I think. One of my friend said at that time , US BECHARI KI TO ZINDAGI KHARAB HO GAYI, AB USSE TO KOI SHADI KARNE SE RAHA’

  I said , why , that girl is not culprit, she is a victim, why her privileges should be snatched from her,  she said, no, wo ladki ab kharab ho chuki hai,

  I had a great deal of arguments with her over this issue but she did not gave up. And it  is true also I think, That’s, why sexual harassment or rape cases are not reported as much as it actually happen. One of the caller in yesterday’s show, about which was talking about , called up and told that her neighbor was taking advantage of her, in the absence of her parents as her both parent were working  and also her younger brother is mentally disturbed so this way her parents had not time to look after her. Her bastard neighbor continued with this heinous act continuously for years I think and one day by luck, her mother got to know about it.  You may be expecting her neighbor must have got punishment, but this never happened. Unexpectedly, her mother beat her to death. Neither she, nor I understood why? She told her not to disclose this to anyone, anyone again in her life. Maybe, she was concerned about her future but still, ultimately victim got the punishment not the culprit. Alas

We are told to respect our teachers, but you must have heard about the recent news, in which a girl was raped continuously by her teacher in an NTT hostel I think, I forgot the location. My mother has told me as she keeps making me aware about all these acts and happenings going around. Thanks mumma!!

Although this was a girl hostel or school but there was not a single woman teacher. And these teachers used to play lotteries with all the girls, names that which one will have fun with which girl today. Think about the bloody bastards. M sorry m using these abuses but I can not hold myself. Sorry.

Again the same thing emerges, that we should respect the behaviors, not the designations or position holding by the persons. We undergo sexual harassment in our offices because of our boss’s position. We don’t raise our voice, as this is not only going to snatch our job but also our reputation in office. Nobody raise finger over the male boss but only on female employee.

So , like this, do not respect the authority also, but the behavior displayed by this authoritative figure.

RESPECT THE BEHAVIOUR, NOT ANYTHING ELSE.

SELF RESPECT OR JOB

“ baap bada na bhaiya, sabse bada rupiya”

I  also used to believe in these words, but you know there are times, when we can not say like this , there are many more things, which are clearly uncompromisable .

 As suggested by my friends, and my fellow bloggers, and as mentioned in my previous blog, I didn’t pay attention to my boss’s various unjustified demands, whenever asked for coffee outside, or lunch outside (obviously, hiding from all the office like bloody thieves), i simply made one or another excuse to get out of this situation, like no, today I have to got to library,

No, sir, sorry but you should have told me before as I have plan today with my mom for shopping.

O my god, every Saturday, I had to come with a new excuse. Saturday, not because of weekend, but because, we normally have our almost half day, and hence he can get his enjoyment without any suffering for his work (See, His cleverness). Suddenly, he stopped all this, I heaved a big sigh of  relief and almost 2 weeks were very good.

Ya, all that continued which I have mentioned in my previous  blog, like  getting rebuked on every single smallest mistake, making me sit fro almost 1 hour even after my office timing is over, just to say good bye for the day, o my god , there were many.

Anyways, I already have started giving interviews, so there were normally 2 to 2.5 leave in the month of January. But , as I have already told you, getting these HR job is really time consuming.

I thought that I should concentrate on my present job now, instead of finding a new job. I came to the office with this noble thought but I received a letter from my Accounts head saying

“ you mobile reimbursement  of Rs. 500/-*has been taken back from you as you don’t receive calls from the office, whenever out of the office”. I have already expected this coming as he has once called me at 9.30 pm from his cell, which I didn’t pick up. I got a good shouting from his side next day. Same happened one day again I was on my way to interview and I received this call from office, I knew he is calling me since he has messaged me one senti message, and I knew he is going to call me and next day, I received this letter.

Maybe he was expecting that I will go and talk to him regarding this, but he did not know that now I have developed a great deal of self respect and I am not ready to compromise on this. I simply gave my reply to head accounts saying I was in hospital to take care of my grandma (this was the alibi, I have used to take leave for that day ;))

I didn’t even hint him anything regarding this. I have thought that I won’t mind this at all. As I  was having this condition  while getting this reimbursement,   that I will msg. him and call him, which I didn’t want and I was not doing obviously, that’s what hit him I think.  I discussed this matter in my home and they also echoed my view point.

On the same way, I got biggest shock of my life, when I happen to sit on the computer of his PA, who is also my sister in law. And I saw a mail there which was actually a copy, original of whose was with MD only. It was from a consultant, who sends us other candidates; she has sent her resumes for the post of AM- HR, which is handled by me only. I can’t describe my feeling at that time, like somebody who has just been stabbed in the heart, I felt so cheated, so insulted (although, I should not). Tears rolled down my eyes and called my best friend immediately to discuss this matter.

Although I myself was very much disturbed and tense over the prevailing conditions in office,  but leaving this job without having one in my hand was so much risky that I got so much worried over the uncertainty of my life and career to be specific. But, I decided I will not talk to him regarding this, I will not say yes to his unjustified demands. I have expected all this, but obviously coming face to face with this will be so much troublesome and difficult I never thought.

In the same company, he had an employee as his girl friend and according to rumors; she has been used by him. After being satisfied, he just made her out of the company by simply terminating her. Poor girl, lost her job, also her reputation also whether she really did anything or not, only God knows. I do not want to fall in the same trap. Now, when I have declined him, still he has his wish, and he wants me to go out of the company.

My future is full of uncertainties and I am really troubled now. Why this shit happens yar? I am going through all this, just because he had his heart on me and he could not lay his hands upon me.  In my last blog, I have asked is it sexual harassment, now, I clearly know, that this is sexual harassment. But I won’t give up. NO, NO NO, CLEARLY NO.

I had once left my job, almost 2 years before, then also to go out of these kind of tensions. Then I was almost fresher, and I had to sit at home for 2 months. Although, I don’t want to go through all over again, but I will have to keep courage I think.

Although, at first I decided that  I will wait till being terminated or getting a letter from his side, as in this case , I will have one month salary, and in between , if I get a job elsewhere , still it would  be lovely, but now I think it is impossible as he seems to be  in a hurry and if I resign right now, I will be able to have my upper hand. As then I would be that I have resigned rather than, he terminated me. I am thinking now that when should I resign, I need your advice on this matter also friends. Please help me.

I just read an article that “ quitting does not mean, losing, staying with a sacking job or relationship, does not mean that you are winning, if you are losing your dignity in a situation, then staying does not mean winning, instead quitting means winning.”

Should I say now?

  I QUIT

Innocent's letter

CONFUSIONS OF LOVE.

Have you ever experienced the confusion of love??? Or is it just with me.

I was in a series of relationships, where my motto was only to flirt (I think those guys also or maybe not) and if by luck, I will find some good handsome Punjabi guy then to settle down with him. But only and only PUNJABI guy.

Then I changed my job and I met a guy here. Even before I joined this company, my sister in law who is working in the same company, told me that a guy here resemble my brother, means her beloved and she was very happy about  the thought that if he could turn out to be my would be husband.(Though I  suspect her intentions)

 So anyways, I joined this company, and really this guy was having a repute of being very decent, very sensible and very sincere in the company. Now, I usually go for looks a lot , well he was considerably good looking also. I lost my heart to him and I tried to draw his attention towards me.

 Though initially I was in a mood of flirt only with him, as I was having an opinion of marrying only with any Punjabi and he was pahadi. (Sharmas you know) he was a different type of guy, more I tried to be close with him, more h e seemed to be interested in friendship only. I was getting frustrated day by day on not being able to make him boy friend. Then ultimately, I lost my interest in him. I was not busy with my life and with my friends only.

One day , he asked me to go to temple with him, now it put me into surprise as I used to ask him before and he used to say no, sorry nicky, I am busy with my work.( no, it was not excuse , he is actually very loyal employee, mere fute karam :D) Then, I said no, I am going with my friend.

Now, he was interested in me, but I was not. One reason was that he was serious about me, but I did not want to be serious about anyone, because I was not in a mood of having love marriage, that too with a non Punjabi , oh my god, not possible at all.

I did all kind of things to make him away from me like denying to go anywhere with him, making him tore the movie tickets, in short, I did all kinds of things to make him go away from him and hate me. If any other guy would be there, he would have gone away ,but this time I got a different reaction from his side. He said” nicky, whatever you do, I will love you a lot for whole of my life. Even if , you want me to stay away from you, but  I will love you silently. Now I won’t force you for anything (for movies or coffee etc, please don’t misunderstand) and he cried. ( I have never seen any boy crying , instead of hurting me , he was hurt, and I could not stand it) I tried to give him a chance. I started to go with him, and he tuned 0ut to be a good boy friend in fact. Some of his qualities are:

1)      he never stopped me form doing anything, (hey , not bad things)

2)      He never says no if I am in the mood of going somewhere. Even if he is sick.

3)      He answers my every question. However, personal it may be)

4)      He is a total teetotaler.

5)      He earns good, and hold a good designation.

6)      Belongs to a good family.

7)      Is very decent, very innocent guy.

8)      He does not question me about my past. I have told you I was damn flirty and I have told him everything.

9)      He never says anything bad about anyone.

10)  He is having a small family.

11)  He is good looking also.

12)  He praises me a lot, always genuine.

13)  He actually cherishes every moment, which he spend s with me.

14)  Always listens to me , however rubbish I am talking, and give advises, suggestions, and comments also.

And etc. etc. et.c etc. etc. and etc.

Now, I have decided to marry him. My family has also come to know about it now. They are preparing to meet him, and understand him. Yar, I have now the following things going in my mind, please help me in finding solutions.

1)      he is non Punjabi. His and mine parents may have problem over it. Should I trust a out of community guy.

2)      He is 6 years older than me.

3)      He is very seedha type of guy. In today’s world, how will he survive,(well, he has already survived for so many years)but still.

4)      Man, there are hell of smart guys (I mean more smart from him, although I don’t know anything about their character, personality etc.) you know, yearning for more , more and more.

5)      What if, his parents did not approve of this relationship, how will he manage?

6)      Should I go for a love marriage??? What will my relatives say??

7)      I will lose my identity. My children will not be Punjabi anymore ,they will be  sharmas.

8)      What if my parents would have found a boy for me, and he would have been more smart and better , then what would have  been?

9)      Should I wait for sometime more??

Oh, please buddies,  help me out. Give me your suggestions and views, I am waiting desperately.

Humorous Employee Resignation 
---------------

The name is good, the brand is big
But the work I do is that of a pig

The work or the brand; what is my way?
I don't know if I should stay.

To work, they have set their own way
Nobody will care to hear what I say

My will be NULL, they wont change their way
I don't know if I should stay.

The project is in a critical stage
But to do good work, this is the age

This dilemma is killing me day by day
I don't know if I should stay.

The money is good, the place is great
But the development is at a very small rate

Should I go for the work, or wait for pay
I don't know if I should stay!

The managers don't know what they talk
The team doesn't know where they walk

That's a bad situation, what say?
I don't know if I should stay.

I can go to any other place
But what if I get the same disgrace

I can't keep switching day by day
I don't know if I should stay.

The -ves are more, the +ves are less
Then why have this unnecessary mess

No more will I walk their way,
It's all done, I won't stay. 

IS IT SEXUAL HARRASMENT

Hi!!!

Today I am going to talk about a very taboo subject, sexual harassment. Being a HR person, I have heard a lot about sexual harassment but I never realized, how would be feeling actually being in this .Actually, am in a kind of dilemma that is it really sexual harassment or not???  TO KAHANI KUCH AISI HAI KI

I am working right now in travel industry. And normally, like small companies, I have also a MD who is like king of jungle. I was feeling already very tensed initially,  even  after being for almost 15 days in the organization that I am stuck. Prior to this , I was working with an IT company and as you all may be aware that IT atmosphere is totally fundoo and free and professional, no personal wishes of MD is actually holding too much weight. But “jahan raja sirf ek hi aadmi ho to wo behcara kaya karein”

Initially I was feeling all this problems. Gradually things started to be smooth. MD who usually used to remain angry with all of employees, always whining and barking, now actually got smooth with me, in fact extra soft with me. He usually used to call me in his cabin and on the pretext of some work or other used to make me sit for at least half an hour, ordering tea for me, asking for personal questions and all….

Actually my would be sister in law is also working in the same company so he used to instigate me against her (and her against me, m deadly sure) like ladies. Now he is very influential person, if he talks soft with somebody then he feels lucky or at least I did. Then one fine day , while I was going home, he called me inside his cabin and asked about my number just very casually. I gave him. Next day, he asked me have u got my msg.

I = No,

MD= but I  have sent u one msg when I was watching my favourite program and I wanted you to watch that.

I= ok sir, please do it again.

I was feeling odd , Md is messaging me just to tell about a program. Anyways, then he has instructed me to send him  a message to confirm this is the  correct number , I has given to him.

I just sent a very casual msg. unexpectedly, I got a reply of the same. Then he started sending me msg. and now calling me also, just casually, then one day he said, “ Hey, Nicky, I got a business deal. You are lucky for me” I felt very good. He invited me for treat. And me , EKDUM GADHI HU MAIN, I accepted. He brought one of his fine car and that day no driver with him. Very casually he said make sure nobody see me when you are coming with me. So just like thieves, I went and he went to a restaurant with me I was not feeling at all, that my MD is sitting with me. I liked it thinking MD is my friend. But things took a new turn. He stated telling me about all his ex girlfriends, his current girlfriends (He is married with 2 girls almost similar to my age, and he is 46 years) all the stuff I did not want to know. He tried to know about my bfs etc. but I did not tell as I was not having anybody till then.  So our friendship started and went on and on. But now he starting treating my possessively. One day he made a great fuss, because he has seen me with one of my friend eating and going to my home. Whatever I do, it is none of his business, my personal life is totally out of view of my professional life. But  my colleagues , each and every body is just so idiot (can I say bastard) that they have problem with each and every girl. Every girl is seeing with bad eyes and is labeled as bad character. 

So he got so possessive, that he actually sent me a good burning message saying that “I am a leo , a lion  I don’t, want my friends to be shared with anybody else( like m a bloody his keep , whom he has bought for himself only, how can he even talk like this, I am not his bloody property) he just sent me such rubbish messages and even ask one of my colleague to make me understand that I should not talk to boys , and I should fully concentrate on my career only. I was so afraid then actually I understood what is going on in his mind, and I became cautious. I just made excused whenever he used to ask me to go with him. It made him more furious. Now he also understood somewhat that what is going on in my mind, beside , I liked one of my colleague and we are very much friendly with each other. He understood that i may leave him anytime.

It is so shit yar, that I considered him totally as a friend only, I never hence accepted his gifts also , but he made me accept his 2-3 gifts, which are now causing problem in my home, as my mom keeps asking about that, I don’t why this happens. Na chahte hue bhi aisi problems aa hi jati hai ladkiyon ke sath.

He even does not understand that there is a huge gap between me and him , he is like my father. My life is totally stuck buddies. Now when he has actually understood that am not interested in him. So he does not talk nicely me, keeps looking for smallest to smallest mistakes in my work, does not even say me to sit when I have any work with him. I stand for normally half an hour. It really pinches, but I do not know what to do, I can not say yes to him. Though he never actually said  about sexually favour, but these days he even started sending my Non veg messages and started telling non veg talks also.  

I don’t know , what to do, how to save my job or how to save my self respect. Because saving both of them does not seem possible now. O GOD! HELP ME,

Finding a good HR job is also not so easy now.

Viase my question from you is that is it also a sexual harassment ?????????